Desire to be special

There are at least two kinds of desires when it comes to being special: the desire to be special to the world and the desire to be special to a select few.

- Desire to be special from the world - This is the desire to gain widespread recognition, [respect](/en/respect), and [attention](/en/attention). It is manifested when one seeks to influence a large number of people and to demonstrate one's value through objective results and recognition. This desire may lead to the pursuit of [social success](/en/social%20success) or [reputation](/en/reputation). - Desire to be someone special to a specific few. - This one is the desire to be unique to certain people who are important to you (family, friends, lovers, mentors, etc.). It is not extensive, but seeks value and [specialness](/en/specialness) in an intimate relationship, and is based on emotional connection and [affection](/en/affection).

Is there a gender difference?

Although it is difficult to simply conclude whether there are gender differences in the "desire to be special" due to cultural backgrounds, social expectations, and individual differences, the following general trends can be considered.

1. desire to be special from the world
   • Male tendencies
     • In general, this desire may be strongly expressed by men because they are often expected to play social roles that place a high value on competition and achievement. The tendency to seek to be "extensive and special" through prestige and leadership is relatively common.
   • Female Trends
     • Women may also seek prestige and social influence, although this may not be as pronounced as it is for men. Some studies suggest that women often find special value in the form of "helping others."
2. the desire to be special to a specific few
   • Male tendencies
     • The desire for "specialness" in intimate relationships also exists, but may be less overtly emphasized in cultures where emotional expression is socially repressed. Nevertheless, the desire to be important to one's partner and family is persistent.
   • Female Trends
     • Women are generally more likely to have "relationship-oriented" values, and this desire may be expressed more strongly. The tendency to feel special, especially in family and close friendships, may be especially noticeable.

• Factors that emphasize gender differences
  • Social and cultural expectations (e.g., men are considered competitive, women relationship-oriented)
  • Influence of childcare and role divisions within the family (social expectations that women prioritize "intimacy")
  • Individual personalities and values
• The Limits of Gender Differences
  • However, these trends are averages, and in today's society, individual personalities and environments are increasingly having a greater impact than gender differences. Rather than considering it as a gender difference, it is more appropriate to consider "what kind of environment or experience strengthens this desire".

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